Friday, Sep 16, 2011 - Near Death

Ringing noise. 

Me: hello?

Distant, pleasant, slightly robotic voice: this is your wake up call...scheduled for...five...twenty...a.m.

Me: hmph

(20 minutes later)

Me: dude?

Tomcat: mornin'

Me: I think I'm dead.

Tomcat: you are.

Head - unmoveable

Lips - dry, burning

Breath - almost nonexistent

Septum - on fire

Throat - not even right
Ears - clogged
Jaws - sore from gnashing my teeth

Stomach - empty except for coke-laced drainage and I'm sure some blood

2 hours of "sleep"

What the fuck did I think I was doing last night, channeling Dr. Gonzo from Fear and Loathing, Chris Farley maybe? Roughest night ever. Stupid Playboy club.

Flying to meet Barbie, her mom, aunt and uncle for a family get together. This should be fun.

Couldn't sleep in the loud airport. And I kept having this weird feeling I was supposed to win some money. I even had a dollar figure in mind. $249,000. I opened my eyes, got up and walked to the little slot casino and saw a machine showing $287,000. Close enough. The machine was The Twilight Zone...fitting. dropped in $20, hit max bet, won 20 free spins, totaling $65. Maybe I should have looked longer for that $249,000 machine. I was pretty pleased. Took my winnings and walked. See? I can learn from my mistakes.