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Monday, October 31, 2011

Mon, Oct 3, 2011 - I think I'm an Asshole


Well I begrudgingly made it to the gym for some uphill walking. (hey that counts as exercise.) When I got out of the gym, Rain was already texting. She had stayed the night with MacGyver (surprise) and had a big talk about the nature of their association, which turned out to be more serious in his eyes than she had really understood...or at least that's how she perceived it. I'd say time will tell. 

It made her happy to know, of course because of her strong feelings for him. But it also tore her up a bit because of her still strong feelings for me. Plus, she can't bring herself to tell him how close we are. And she really hurt when he apparently painfully asked if we had been intimate.

She lied. She said he had told her that he was jealous of me. I find that strange as I see him as having more going for him than I have. Funny how we're all a little insecure when it comes right down to it.Then again, maybe he was just using that to pull feelings out of her...it's probably what I would have done. Still, had she told him about the nights when we drenched her bed in sweat, the handcuffs, the candle wax, the tantra, the squirting, squishing orgasms one after another that left her bed soaked in the middle...maybe he would have been a little jealous. That girl and I rock some CRAZY sex!

She and I texted all day off and on. Finally I insisted that I had meant what I said. I wanted her to cut me loose and pursue something meaningful with MacGyver. She asked if that was really how I honestly felt and I answered a dry, "Yes, Rain." As I write this entry now, a full day later, I haven't heard another word from her since then.

Shaking it off, I finished up a busy workday with a list of to-do's before I leave for the rocking city of Boise, Idaho. woohoo

More drama on tap though...Barbie's grandmother died today. She's avoiding it, trying not to cry. Her mom shit on her and walked into the bathroom at her office as she sat in a stall and said, "Oh hey, your grandma died today. Just thought you should know." That family is something else, man. I've never seen anything quite like them.

So as she hid out in her office for the evening, I went by the old house and had a decent dinner with the kids. At least decent as far as my two were concerned. You see, Barbie had come home and couldn't speak during dinner from being so upset. Eventually, I had to tell her daughter about her great grandmother. She flipped about no one telling her sooner and threw a crying fit which made Barbie break down and leave.

I felt badly for her and went in to try to bring her up but it wasn't happening. So I hung out with my girls a while longer.

It was getting late, and I'd had about all the crying and drama I could stand.  Just as I was leaving the house to head back to the office for the night, I got a text from Rowdie wanting to know if I wanted to go have a couple of drinks. Against my better judgement I went ahead and went out with her and her friend Kat, wondering if my chances would go up getting the two of them and get in bed together.

You'll remember that last time we were together, we all went into the bedroom and started stripping down. Rowdie said to Kat, "let's fuck this guy."  Kat seemed up for it as we climbed into bed, but abruptly jumped up, pulled her pants on and took off out the door. Cold paws? I wanted to try it again.

Well as I had suspected, a couple of drinks turned into a long night ending up at their house, flirting around a little bit and talking a little dirty. But Kat was still hanging back. She has some reservations I guess. I can respect that. And since it's her place, it's not really cool to just take Rowdie in and give her the long hard one with her friend waiting outside (like I did last time).  Eventually I got tired and wanted to leave. They might've been up for some craziness with more drinking and time...I wasn't going to wait around to find out.It's 2:30 in the morning by that time, and frankly I don't have all damn night. I'd rather sleep. 

'Night all.

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